In a shock development, after a great deal of speculation and pressure from within the cooncil, Dougie Hoots-McLafferty has stated that 'he will return to be chairman come the next AGM'.

However, sources close to Cooncillor Archie McStrivens deny claims that he had anything to do with a letter sent to Dougie last week lambasting his performance when chairman. Archie, who took over as chairman, maintained his silence over the issue.

In a startling development, Dougie has persuaded 295 of the 312 cooncillors to sign a motion of no confidence in Archie on the basis that he is "frit".